Scalabrine still holding it down for whitey.
Head on over to the celtics web-page and take a look at the player profiles. (Hell I will even save you the typing, clicking, finding and thinking and just gift you the link here: http://www.nba.com/celtics/roster/hangin/) If you look at the pictures of everyone, what’s the one thing you notice?… I’ll give you a minute. Yep, good ol’ Ghost Face makes Rodman at his height look subtle. Lets take a look at some of Scal’s stats: he averages 1.2 points per game, .7 of a rebound a game, and .1 blocks per game, which for about 10 minutes per game is bad but not atrocious. let’s look a little deeper, especially at a stat called adjusted field goal percentage(AFG%). AFG% measures field goal percentage taking into account the importance of the 3 point shot (it’s worth an extra point for those of you keeping score at home). Kendrick Perkins has the highest AFG% in all of the NBA at .645%, Scal on the other hand ranks last on the Celtics, and 390th in the league with .375%, yet Scal is the fifth highest paid player on the team making $3.4 million?
Have you ever watched Scal set up at the three point line. Other teams don’t even bother guarding him. Most teams are more worried about guarding Doc Rivers than Scal at the three point line. Miami made the mistake of putting a man on Scal the other night on the Peirce to Rondo inbound ally-oop. (Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmKcKRYhuk You can skip to 1:36 if you don’t want to see the D-Wade steal, though really all D-wade needs are some Rick James Jerry-curls to be a super freak) Scal lines up mabey 3-4 feet outside the 3 point line, and with .6 seconds on the clock, Miami puts a man on him even though his 40’ time is probably in the mid 4 minutes and the only thing Scal can do with a basketball and .6 seconds is drool. Still they have him marked up. What does Scal do? He stands there ruining the night for everyone who had floor seats, hands on his knees until after the ball leaves Peirce’s hands. He stands there and does absolutely noting! When Doc was explaining that play during the time-out how do you think the conversation went with Scal.
Doc: “Ok Brian, I have finally found your perfect role. All I want you do do is go to the opposite side of the court, literally as far away from the basket as you can get without being in Orlando, and I want you to stand there. Go over to the stands, and order a hot dog like Mark Sanchez, grab a fan and just start punching him in the mouth like your giving Artest fighting lessons, just whatever you do, do not get involved in the basketball game!”
(As a side note at 2:07ish is one of the better “fan holds it out for a high five and gets left hanging like a fool” moments I have seen in a while)
So Scal, next time you are thinking of jacking up the 3-shot that everyone but you can see is going to brick, keep this in mind: you put up some effort, hell yeah you do. If the NBA were 5th grade art and everything were effort based, yeah you might make the starting 5 on an injury night against the Nets (who are by far the most over rated team based on the fact they are not being kicked out of the league for going 3-37 so far), but Scal… you aint nice.
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